Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize