I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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