I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
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He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
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If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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