the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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