I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize