Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
