If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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