dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
