forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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