sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
