Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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