It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
