I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
