people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
