sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
