I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
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It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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