The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
