Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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