I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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