Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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