Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
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She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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