I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
