i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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