Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
