she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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