i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
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It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
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I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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