strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
