New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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