absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
