I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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