you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
