just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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