this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize