I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
