I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
