so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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