the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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