i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
