And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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