Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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