Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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