you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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