Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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