the new term for farting is butt boxing.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
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He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
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I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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