Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
