Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species