He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?