Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.