yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.