I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I will be naked everywhere
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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