Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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