hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
