he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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