that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
