Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
