He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
