Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
