i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
