you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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