I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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